Whenever you, the wedding officiant, address the discomfort wedding guests are feeling, something magical happens: you relieve the discomfort. It always goes over huge, with everyone answering and laughing back. Or if it’s frigid out and everyone’s teeth are chattering, you jokingly say, “Does anyone here wish that Jen and Sarah decided to get married in July?” “Sure do!” they’ll shout back. That means if it’s a scorching hot day, you say with a smile, “Is it warm enough for everyone out there?” “We sure are!” they’ll reply. Pointing out the discomfort instantly makes it better. Here’s a crucial lesson I’ve learned after officiating hundreds of weddings: if the guests are uncomfortable about something, talk about it. You start the ceremony by going to the front and playfully warming them up and getting them on your side with your opening remarks. In my online course, I teach that wedding officiants want to have a moment with the guests before the ceremony starts. Don’t draw attention to it, right? Make your opening remarks and get on with the ceremony as though everything is totally normal, right?Īfter all, won’t saying something about it make it even weirder?Īctually, no. So it feels natural: as the wedding officiant, you want to pretend this isn’t happening. We will just get past this when it ends and move on. Don’t draw attention to what everyone is gawking at. We’ve been socially conditioned for years and in every setting: don’t say anything. The professor frowns wordlessly, then moves on while everyone else stifles their laughter. A student drops his pencil case and sixty-seven HB #2’s cascade down the stairs in the silence.

All the other passengers avert their eyes and pray (ironically) for the next stop to come quickly. Someone shuffles onto the train, shouting at no one in particular and hawking pamphlets about the end of the world. We learn to act like this on the subway, too. Or there are polite attempts to change the subject without drawing Aunt Marg’s ire. Everyone drops their eyes and just waits for it to end. Aunt Marg is ranting against the government again during Thanksgiving Dinner. We learn this growing up in our families where it’s taboo to discuss the elephant in the room. Then we can move forward as if nothing happened.” Fewer people will notice if you don’t draw attention to it. Say Nothing So It Seems Normal?Ĭonventional wisdom goes like this: “When something is socially uncomfortable, don’t say anything. You clear your throat and get ready to speak. The only sign of life you can see is pairs of open, expressionless eyes. You can’t pick up on the excitement in the room. You take your place at the front, turn to face the wedding guests, and… they’re all wearing masks.

Wedding emcee script